Nanny-finder websites have become the norm and a widely-used vehicle for parents to find a nanny to care for their children. Full of warm and fuzzy photos of young women playing, feeding and laughing with young children, these websites subtly attempt to appease a parent’s greatest fear – how do they know they can trust this nanny. Will she do right by their child? At the very least, will she not cause harm?

While all of these sites state they neither recommend a particular nanny nor hold responsibility for her care of children, there is an assumption that the information provided by a nanny is honest and accurate. In my over 13 years working with parents thorough the process of choosing nannies that fit, I have found that while some candidates’ information may be embellished or not completely accurate, for the most part, nannies present their work histories and experiences honestly. Some nanny-finder websites also direct parents to sources where they can get a criminal background checks on their desired candidate. Others advise parents to require CPR/First Aid training or TB testing for their nanny, remind parents to check references and even provide sample interview questions. In many ways, this one-stop shopping approach to hiring a nanny purports to do it all.

If that’s the case, then why does the process of hiring a nanny so often bring worries and mismatches?

In my opinion, the reason parents worry about the nanny they hired is because they neglected to consider the importance of hiring for the absolute best fit for them and their child. Making a best fit hiring decision goes beyond the practicalities of a nanny’s work history and experiences. A best fit hiring decision includes asking questions about childrearing orientations, skills and values. A best fit hiring decision considers a child’s behavioral challenges and idiosyncrasies. A best fit hiring decision considers temperament – of the nanny, child and parents. In these three important ways, nannies must fit with families in order to make the right decision.

That’s why nanny finder websites solve only half the problem in hiring a nanny. While they provide a convenient, one-stop shopping source to know who is looking for a nanny position, they don’t provide the information most essential to knowing the nanny would be the best fit.

Before getting onto Craigslist or the many other nanny finder websites, take the time to know the following:

Know who you are as a family, what your family values are and who your child is in terms of their idiosyncrasies and development. Know the same about your nanny candidates. For example, many parents value the Golden Rule, education, having a strong work ethic and equality of opportunity. These values are taught and reinforced through every stage of development in a child’s life. Often one value gains priority at a particular stage while others become less prominent. For example, learning to trust others (a value learned when a nanny provides consistent, reliable and predictable care) begins in infancy and sets the stage for learning the Golden Rule – how to treat others like yourself. The value of education (feeling competent and self-reliant through interactions and support from another) also begins early; for example helping a 4-month old learn to reach and move forward to get what he wants.

These are a few of the essential question to ask yourself before starting to search for your nanny.

Alyce Desrosiers, LCSW
Childcare Specialist for Families and Nannies